I'm reading the book of John right now. I was reading Luke since we were studying Luke as a church, and then I thought I'd just ease on into Acts after that, since they are kind of like Part I and Part II from the same guy. But then I read in a commentary that the reason John is between Part I (Luke) and Part II (Acts) is because Luke ends with Jesus promising the disciples that the Holy Spirit will come on them, and Acts begins with that promise, and then its fulfillment. John, in the middle, goes through Jesus' ministry, with a huge emphasis on the Holy Spirit. I need to know about the Holy Spirit, so here we are. In John.
Today I am reading John 15, which if you are familiar with John, you know is about the vine and the branches. Jesus is the true vine, the Father is the gardener, and we are the branches. Now, here comes my confession. This passage always depresses me. Jesus keeps talking about remaining in Him and how we will produce fruit if we do. Almost without fail, around verse 6 I start to feel really guilty and start to wonder if I'm actually a branch after all, since I don't seem to be producing a ton of fruit. Then it goes on---Jesus is explaining what it looks like to remain in Him (fail)---to follow His commands (fail), namely to love people (fail). That's how I tend to feel at the end: FAIL.
But then, today, a kind of "random" (though, I don't believe in random coincidences) trail of thought led me to Ezekiel 36:26. I wanted to find the verse where God says He will give us a new heart. So, that verse is: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Then I read the commentary in my Bible on the verse and it pointed out that earlier in Ezekiel, in chapter 11, God had also made this promise of giving us a new heart and spirit. And then, in chapter 18, He had simply said: 31 Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel? 32 For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign LORD. Repent and live!" If you just read chapter 18, you would despair. "How can I get a new heart and spirit?????????" But when you read it with the bookend promises of chapter 11 and chapter 36, there is JOY! My Bible's commentary on this was simple, but it hit me in the face (in a great way): "What God requires He provides."
So, back to John 15. It's actually kind of ridiculous that I could even make John 15 about me and my effort. Hello irony! So, this morning, just a little bit---I am starting to understand it. Jesus is the vine. I am a branch. Unless I remain in Him, I can do nothing. I cannot even remain in Him without His help! At this point, my brain starts to melt a little bit---kind of like "which came first? the chicken or the egg?", but really, who cares? All I know, and I suppose all I need to know, is that I HAVE to depend on Jesus for EVERYTHING. Even my dependence on Him. Are you confused? Maybe...well, the Holy Spirit can help you too. This is good news. It is finished. He has done it. And for the rest of this life, I will work out my salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in me to will and to act according to His good purpose (Philippians 2:12-13).
