Sent to Roxboro

So my wife has been quite the little blogger for our family over the past 6 months or so, blogging 10 11 12 times since my last post (it's taken me a week to even finish this one).  So here's to a comeback, exempt from fireworks & colorful streamers.

Today was a down day, in part because we've been so slow at the new workplace.  But that just serves to remind me: I'm at a new workplace.

In one of the previous 10, I believe the diligent Cristina mentioned that we were moving (and have moved) to the booming metropolis of Roxboro, where we say words like "swoney" and "Imagone", as in "Imagone do that today", which is contrary to our Raleigh-speak:  "I am going to do that today."  Cristina still hasn't figured out what "swoney" means, though somehow it's reentered my everyday vernacular.  Since we've proclaimed that we're here as missionaries, I pass it off as contextualization.

To be a missionary in Roxboro has been a strange thing.  I mean, for one, who says that? Yes, Roxboro is my hometown.  And yes, this is the same word we used of ourselves when we moved to East Asia, and the same word my new friend Aaron is using as he prepares to proclaim Jesus with his life in Senegal.

See, this has been part of an ongoing lesson God's been teaching me (and us) since we ended our missionary service in Asia 2 years ago, though I feel like the lessons have been accelerated over the past few months.

Though I felt in East Asia that serving there wasn't a longterm fit for me, I loved the way my team did life.  We planned, strategized, prayed, worshipped, sat under the Word of God, ate meals, played, travelled, shared housing (same gender of course), laughed, wept, and celebrated together.  When I returned to America, I continued many of these same activities, but no longer together with my team. We had lived life as a team on mission, and reverting to any other way of living has honestly been a letdown over the past couple years.

*****

I was looking at pictures from our time in East Asia today as they cycled by on Cristina's screen saver, and I was reminded of some of the great time in fellowship I had with my teammates in Asia.  However, as the pictures scrolled through in chronological order, I felt sudden pain as the photos began to show life captured not in Asia, but now America.  Coming back to America from Asia in July 09 was certainly one of the toughest periods in my life.  No, no one died, and no real tragedy struck, but something did die and I vividly remember the grief.  Much can be said of the pitfalls of American culture, and I think for a long time I've blamed the pain on our cultural sins.  But as we looked at those photos today, I remarked to Cristina how I feel our transition from Asia back to America would not have been so hard had I experienced this transition with my team.  While in Asia, we had traveled to many other places together, throughout Asia, and even to Singapore, Malaysia, & the Philippines. Coming back to Roxboro, it just felt like my team should have been with me there too.  The change of geography was not what I grieved, but it was the breaking of those relationships and that manner of living life together with that rent my soul.

We're now here in Roxboro to be the church, on mission with God and His people here as a team.  God is a God on mission to reconcile the world to a restored relationship with Himself and the church (those reconciled) is His plan for changing the world.  Why should we live any differently here than in East Asia? Why should I keep everyone at arm's length and never really get to know anyone (or let them know me)?  "All authority on heaven and earth has been given to Me (Jesus)" includes Roxboro too.  "As you are going, make followers of Me from all nations".  Jesus let your people in Roxboro truly be your Body, your hands & feet & mouthpiece in demonstrating how high & wide & long & broad your love is to the world!  Let us know each other, so we can really love each other.  Thanks God, for remembering Roxboro, too.

We know it's not gonna be an easy mission, and we've been reminded that getting to know people takes time.  And we even realize that many who have also gone by the name of "church" have given the impression that God is distant or discrimminating.  And yet we're pumped to see what God has in store.

Life in the 'Boro

We have officially lived in the 'Boro for 5 weeks & 2 days. I know this because I counted on this handy-dandy calendar I acquired from my sis-in-law when I went to help her organize her classroom. I knew there'd be something in it for me! Juuuust kidding. I had fun Krysi! Call me up when you need to do spring cleaning!

So, what else have we been up to? Well, we've gone on a couple lil dates. Our first night on the town was a stop at American Hero (apparently home to some great cheesesteaks, which I unfortunately did not try---next time). Then we were gonna go walk in the park, but it started raining, as evidenced by this rainbow (ohhh, pretty),




so I suggested an alternative that I'll probably never live down. Can

you make it out through the rain-covered windshield?

While here we have also developed an obsession with milkshakes. Peach at Sugar Shack. Peanut-butter-banana-fudge at Cookout. Last night we needed to get out of the house, so we went to Cookout for a milkshake (after playing an awesome game of I Spy---or is it Eye Spy?---who says adults can't play that game?!). Then we came home to play chess. Who are we really? But, by the end of the game I was happy and exhausted, so there ya go. Photo evidence:



And that's about all I got from Roxboro via pictures. In other notes: God is being faithful (duh, why do I doubt?) to answer prayers. Relationships are being built (they take time...which I sometimes forget), jobs are being worked, money is being provided (hello little AT & T rebate! what a nice surprise you were!), life is being lived. Amen.

There's really no excuse for not writing this blog earlier. Nonetheless, here we are, almost one month later.

One month later than what you ask? ONE YEAR I say! One year of newlywed bliss. I'm happy to report that in this first year we have never fought; we have never been frustrated with one another; we've every day looked out for the other before ourselves; we've let our spouse pick the movie even though we would rather have watched something else; we didn't even mind when our significant other ate the last cookie (brownie, chip, bite of salsa, slice of cheese, waffle, etc.). It has been awesome. Now I know what those married folks have been enjoying all these years!

PSYYYYYYYCH. Okay, hopefully you are back in your seat after making a trip to the bathroom to puke, and we can carry on with the real version of the last year. Of course we have fought. Mostly over incredibly trivial things. Things like "You finished the bag of chips? I just bought that bag of chips yetserdayyy!" or whether it is better to write all those thank-you-notes "with some peace and quiet so I can think straight" or "with some music so I can be more excited about my hand falling off as I crank these bad boys out." Seriously, at least two fights ensued over music vs. quiet. Not sure who won those yet. But truthfully, some of that "newlywed bliss" stuff is not all off-base.

What I mean to say is we have had a good year. It is fun to read together before bed (yeah, we're nerdy, so what!). It is awesome praying together---it is so cool how God can use Casey praying with me/for me to just pour some salve into a wound that's been reopened. It is, while at times stressful, way more exciting to cook dinner for two people than one. Especially when your husband will eat almost anything and routinely says "That was good, babe!" Thanks Love! It is, grueling, yet empowering, to work together on a monthly budget/spending plan. It is encouraging to see God work through Casey to love people and build relationships and to push them to Christ. It is humbling to be his helper. I am inadequate, but God's grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

There are so many more ways that God has grown us, and so many conversations, and prayers, and movie nights, and dinners, and family gatherings, and heartaches, and breakthroughs, and happy tears, and sad tears, and...life. How could I record them all? But God has been faithful through all of them, and we know He will continue to be. I am so happy to be married to my man. I am so thankful. "Because of my sin, and its consequences, I know I do not deserve to marry you," but I am so glad for grace!

The Cup

So, I once heard an awesome (as in really weighty) talk about "the cup"---of God's wrath, that is---and how Jesus took that cup for us. CJ Mahaney led us through the Garden of Gethsemane, and why it was such a terrible time for Jesus---because Jesus was already starting to drink, willingly, from the cup then. This was, strangely, the best picture I could find for that scene. For more on the other outdated images that google will bring up for you, watch here.

Anyway, I'm reading Isaiah now. It is by far my favorite book of the Bible. Is that sacrilegious to have a favorite? Well, either way, it's my favorite. Casey always gives me a funny look when I say that---and I guess I understand---because, honestly, there's a lot of hard stuff---lots of wrath is talked about throughout the 66 chapters. But there's also some of the sweetest words (in my opinion) of the Bible in there. And, I suppose, sometimes, I do just go straight to the sweet words. I could just camp out on chapters 40-43 maybe forever. But, I also think that sometimes the sweet words are all the sweeter when they immediately follow the hard words about our sin and its nasty disgusting deathly consequences. I'll admit though, there is this dissonance going on. Even within a chapter it'll be wrath, wrath, and then it'll end with peace and faithful love of God the King, Father, Creator, Husband.

This morning, though, it sort of all came together. I was reading chapter 50 and it starts with God rebuking Israel. Basically saying "Look, it's your own sin in turning away from me that has led to this mess (namely, the exile), and not my turning from you." He says "Is my hand shortened, that it cannot redeem?" (50:2b) Answer: Duh. No. So we go from the rebuke, to the end of the chapter and God is saying "Let him who walks in darkness (again, exile) and has no light trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God." (50:10b). Which is awesome that we get to put our hope in God and find salvation, but it's like "Wait a minute...what about all that wrath from the beginning? I mean, is that just swept under the rug?..." NO! It's not. Because our God is a God of justice. And that's when the middle of the chapter made sense. Verse 4, a character enters. He says:

"The Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are taught,
that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary...
The Lord God has opened my ear, and I was not rebellious;
I turned not backward.
I gave my back to those who strike, and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard;
I hid not my face from disgrace and spitting.
But the Lord God helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced;
therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
He who vindicates me is near.
Who will contend with me? Let us stand up together.
Who is my adversary? Let him come near to me.
Behold, the Lord GOD helps me; who will declare me guilty?
Behold, all of them will wear out like a garment; the moth will eat them up."

And who is this character? He is Messiah. Jesus. The mediator. He stands in on our behalf and is struck by the enemy for our sin. But He knows that God will help Him and vindicate Him, so He does not despair. And now, He allows us to say with Him, "He who vindicates me is near. Who will contend with me? Let us stand up together? Who is my adversary? Let him come near to me. Behold, the Lord GOD helps me; who will declare me guilty?" (50:8-9) So, here, as John Piper has said, "the death of the Messiah resolved the dissonance of history."

"You drink the cup to the bottom,
but it burns in your hand.
The cup was poured out
on The Maker instead."
(from "High Countries" by Sandra McCracken)

A Sweet Picture

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,

I will not forget you!
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me."

That's some of the most striking words and imagery I can imagine. It's kind of the most absurd question. How could a mother forget her child??? Answer: she couldn't! BUT, even if it were possible, God will NOT forget us! That is amazing. It's not even that He can't forget us, but that He "will not" forget us. He has chosen to remember us. He has engraved us on the palms of His hands. He will not forget us.

"Why Suffering?"

Why Suffering? from The Summit Church Sermons on Vimeo.

What I am (in a comparatively small way) wrestling with now. These words are a comfort in the midst of it...

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)...

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us (2 Corinthians 1:8-10)...

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)...

because we know that the One who rasied the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus (2 Corinthians 4:14)...

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. Four our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)