"Evidence, Boy!"

I think a lot. Perhaps too much. I think a lot about everything that's wrong in my life. Definitely too much--because there's so much that's right.  I'm convicted every time I look back at the story of the wandering Israelites--the story of how God delivered a people from slavery in Egypt to become a people for his own possession, a people for him to bless and lead into the Promised Land where they would enjoy serving him rather the heavy-handed Egyptians.  Yet, this group of people never entered the Promised Land, or rather their first generation didn't.  Instead their first generation wandered the desert for 40 years till they all but 2 faithful ones died off.  Why? Because they complained. They complained about missing the meat-pots they ate while slaves in Egypt, discontent with the adventure God was leading them on.  Not believing that there was better in store for them at their destination, better RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM leading them as a Pillar of Cloud by day and a Pillar of Fire by night--the Holy Presence of Jehovah.

God allowed a whole generation of Israelites to die off because they complained and did not treasure his Grace.  So why am I still here?  What have I missed out on?

God has been even more gracious to me.  "Evidence, boy!", my friend Tim shouts at me often.  He's good to do that.  I have a beautiful wife who loves the God who made her, loves the husband He's given her.  I have a great family.  I have a great church family--men who are like real brothers to me, who love me genuinely and look out for me.  An awesome small group I get the joy of leading. And then there's all those American "essentials"...the ability to brush my teeth everyday, the roof over my head, A/C, two cars, shirts & feckless ties for work 5 days a week.  That's right, I get Saturdays off too.

So as I mope tonight over not having the cable requisite for witnessing Kobe's impending Olympic glory, not having seen Dark Knight Rise yet, not having more money, more charisma, or more time to do some things I want to do (like blog)....well, the Evidence weighs against me and finds me guilty, of complaining. Of blindness to see "Wow my life is great...Really, it is. It's not naivete, this is real."

Romans 8:32 paraphrase, "God who did not even spare His own Son but freely gave Him to us, how will He not also with Him give us all things He's promised?"  The verdict: God is overwhelmingly good to me.  And His presence & approval is all I'll ever need for everlasting satisfaction.  Even if the list above was clipped, His presence would fill up the lack.  None of those blessings are enjoyable apart from Him, but He illumines each one.

God created me to know Him & enjoy Him forever. Wow.

Birds and Flowers

Photo Credit

When Casey & I got engaged, he had been working at the Call Center for about two months & I was unemployed. It's not like we weren't eating or anything, but we weren't exactly rolling in cash either. How exactly we were going to afford furniture for an apartment, let alone a honeymoon, was a mystery to us. 

As time went on, God provided these pieces of the puzzle for us, from places we couldn't have known about if we'd tried to figure it out. A free bedroom set from friends of friends. Free furniture from different family members. The way He kept surprising us like that---it made me a little bolder in my asking. I started asking Him to provide for our honeymoon. And He did. "Whoa! God can do that?"

By the time our wedding day rolled around in late July (side note: Happy 2nd anniversary Casey Ray---plus a week and a day), what had already been a sweet passage of Scripture to us, was now our life. You can actually find the Scripture in two places---Matthew 6, and Luke 12. Birds and flowers. Jesus is like "Look! Look at the birds, and look at the flowers---they don't do  ANYTHING and God feeds them and clothes them...and you are worth so much more than they are!"

Matthew 6:33 says "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well." That's it! That's it?? That's all I have to do?? Just seek God, seek His kingdom, and He already knows what I need and will delight to provide it, as a Father delights to care for his daughter? Yes. That's it.

I love how that verse (in Matthew 6) is followed up in Luke 12. Verse 32 says "Fear not, little flock, it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." Wow. (Another side note: if you struggle to understand God as your Father, and you want to hear an amazing sermon on this verse, go look up John Piper's sermon on Luke 12:32 at www.desiringgod.org---for me, it was life-changing.). So, not only do I not have to worry about my Father God providing for my physical needs, but I also don't have to worry about the one thing He's told me to seek (His kingdom) either, because it's His good pleasure to give it to me! Amazing.

God is still Very much teaching (ingraining?) this to us. I would guess, mostly, because we forget it so quickly. We spend over our budget, like we did this month. OVER budget. And we don't know how it's gonna work out, but I hear God whispering to me each time we're faced with a choice to trust Him or hold onto our money more tightly --I hear him telling me to trust Him. That's it---just trust Him. And then I find a $20 bill I had stuck in a journal from college graduation, and a $10 bill in the backseat of my car (I don't normally have cash in my car, so don't ask me for a ride hoping to find some). And then I get paid more than we expected for the month (the extra pay equal to the amount we went over budget). So, I realized this morning that to God we were never "over budget". We were never "in the red". He knew EXACTLY how this would all pan out. And that is why Matthew 6:31-32 says "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?'or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them."

This is so freeing! God sees the big picture. I don't. I can trust Him as my Father to provide for these needs, and so I am liberated to solely seek His kingdom and His righteousness! Let it be Lord.