Me & PJ

image from tracking.si.com

I was talking to my dad on the phone the other week. We'd made our way through politics, and were now on to more important things like college sports. Dad had been out of commission with a cold, and then out of town at a convention, and had just learned about the latest PJ Hairston incident. If you've been living under a rock this summer, I'll catch you up.

Hairston, Carolina basketball's leading scorer, has been pulled over for speeding three times since May. All of those times he was driving someone else's car. Two of those times he was driving a car rented by a notorious drug-user who seems to enjoy getting arrested, and is "coincidentally" connected to other high-profile basketball and football players from Carolina and Duke. One of those times, the officers also found pot and a gun in the car. It's not been a good summer for PJ. It's not been a good summer for Carolina either, especially as they continue to undergo this lengthy NCAA violation scandal.

Dad told me that this just had to be it for PJ. He said even the Carolina fans he's talked to admit that it's time for Hairston to hit the road. And, in fact, Roy Williams did finally suspend him indefinitely (where it goes from here remains to be seen) from the team. I have to admit that when I've read these stories, I have wanted to gloat --- Wolfpacker that I am --- but...I just can't. Overwhelmingly, I have felt pity and compassion for PJ. Why?

I think, maybe, it's because I identify with him. I mean, I don't know what's going through his head, really. I don't know why he likes speeding, and why he hasn't slowed down after two tickets. I don't know why he seems to be self-destructing in front of all of our eyes. But, I know what it's like to feel like you are powerless to stop the cycle of sin you're in. I know what it's like to feel like a disappointment. To feel like everything you touch turns to garbage. I know what it's like to feel like you've cut yourself off from all the people who really cared about you. I know what it's like to feel like you're so far gone now that there's no turning back, so why try? But. But! I also know what it's like to learn that there is a way out of the pit!!! And His Name is Jesus!

Dad told me how he remembered another eerily similar case of a basketball player who went to State. He, like Hairston, was the all-star on the team, but unfortunately also seemed to share a flair for self-destruction. Eventually, he screwed up one too many times, got kicked off the team, and finally ended up living on the streets. Dad said something to the efffect that he hoped PJ would sort of get the "hoodlum" out of him this summer, and get back on track. And it hit me. PJ does have some hoodlum in him. And so do I. And so do you. On our best days, that's all we are, until Jesus steps in and rescues us. Until Jesus came here, lived perfectly, died for our "hoodlum-ness", rose again, and gave us His record, and a way to be Sons. All of a sudden, what I really longed for was for Roy to say: "PJ, you have really messed up, and you've disgraced yourself, the team, and the university, but I want you to come back here. I want you to be in this family. I'm willing to let the naysayers call me an idiot and say that I'm too soft on you, because I want you to be here."

The most beautiful part I think was the last part of our conversation. Dad said the reason he felt that PJ was gonna have to go for good was because Carolina just can't handle the bad press right now. And, you know, he's right. They have been hounded for a couple years now about how messed up their athletics and academics are. And they can't handle another big scandal. But in that moment, it's like I had this out-of-body experience. It's like I stepped back and I could see the big picture.

God came down and he got dirty here. He came to rescue a bunch of hoodlums who, honestly, just keep screwing up. It's not like we all get instantly sanctified. No, He's still doing the dirty work of sanctifying us, one step at a time, til one day...one day, when we'll really believe fully that we're His, and He's not gonna let go of us. No matter how many hoodlum things we have done. He bought us. We're His.

I imagined the God-haters...the ones who, really, are just running from Him. I imagined them saying "I mean, look at this mess! Look at the world. Look at all these hoodlums running around here. Especially the ones who claim to be His kids. They're all a bunch of screw-ups. You know, God really can't handle the bad press right now. He needs a few more Mother Teresa's. No, that one there--- He can't afford to take on that one." But that's not who God is!!! Praise God, He chooses the sick. He chooses the hoodlums! He chooses the Cristina's, and the PJ's, and He welcomes us to come home to our Father. That's what it means that all our sin, and all God's wrath for it, was poured out on Jesus. That's what it means that we are adopted by God. Sons and daughters. What a loving and gracious and merciful and lavish Father.