Inculcation: Send Out Your Light and Your Truth

My friend/boss/pastor, who I will from now on refer to as my fr-os-tor (frostor), has been inculcating, if you will, our staff with the idea of inculcation lately. Now, if you're like me, inculcate is a fairly new vocabulary word. So, as with most new words, I've been turning it over in my mind a lot. I keep repeating it...inculcate...inculcate.

I've been wondering what kind of messages I've been inculcated with in my lifetime (frostor, am I using that word correctly?). I started thinking about my yesterday. Yesterday sucked. I wanted to be doing one thing, but found myself responsible for something different. I hate missing out. The thing I was responsible for didn't feel good, either. In fact, it's totally unnatural for me, so that some days every moment of it feels like weight-lifting. I know you will tell me that weight-lifting is good for me, and, you're right, but just go with me here---and let me just be sad for a minute that yesterday sucked.

It wasn't until the end of yesterday, talking with husband/best friend/pastor, who I will from now on refer to as my hu-st-or (hustor), that I realized most of my struggle was probably because, while I was feeling my weakness and loneliness, I got attacked pretty mightily, and really struggled to fight back with truth. As I talked through what had happened during my day with hustor, and how I'd interpreted each piece, I realized that one of my big struggles was believing (or not) that God was really with me and leading me.

I've been reading this book called Good to Grace, and the author talks a lot about how the Holy Spirit leads believers in the every day. She talks about how freeing that is, because instead of having to try to eek out our own goodness, we can simply listen and obey. Well, I was trying, and I don't know if I couldn't hear, or if I overcomplicated it, or if there were two voices speaking and I struggled to discern God's (I think maybe all of these?), it didn't "work" like I thought it would. And, instead of standing on truth , I caved under the weight of the day and surrendered to defeat. And I'm thinking it's because while God's been spending my whole life inculcating me with His truth, the devil's been spending my whole life inculcating me with his lies.

My whole life I've been observing what's going on around me, and for most of it, I've  interpreted it according to what my former father the devil told me was reality. But, for the last 11.5 years, I've been learning to interpret circumstances based on my new Father God's truth. See, the enemy has inculcated me with all these false ideas, so that in any given crappy circumstance I can discern something crazy like "I am alone", "I am the only one looking out for me", "I will never change", and the like. But, then, God came and re-opened my eyes, and He's been inculcating me with truth, so that in any given crappy circumstance I can discern something beautiful like, "I will never leave you or forsake you", "I will not leave you as orphans", "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus."

Who's gonna win the war? Easy. It's already won. It's only a matter of time before my ears listen to the Father's voice, and only His voice, and I'll understand and obey, because I know He's good and right and true. It's only a matter of time. Because, though my inculcation for 17 years was all darkness and death, my inculcation from this time forth and forevermore is only life and peace. There is hope. So, I say, send your inculcation Father.

Send Out Your Light and Your Truth

43 Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause
    against an ungodly people,
from the deceitful and unjust man
    deliver me!
2 For you are the God in whom I take refuge;
    why have you rejected me?
Why do I go about mourning
    because of the oppression of the enemy?

3 Send out your light and your truth;
    let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
    and to your dwelling!
4 Then I will go to the altar of God,
    to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
    O God, my God.

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
    my salvation and my God.