I grew up in a good family. Dad, Mom, younger sister (almost 2 years between us). For most of my life, I had all four grandparents living, and even had 2 great-grandparents through middle school. There's a slew of aunts, uncles, cousins, and cousins-fifteen-times-removed, who are spread throughout the Southeast Coast.
We grew up in church---in fact, I was so holy, I attended 2 churches every Sunday for a time. Only half-joking. From infancy I heard the name of Jesus, I learned about God from sermons and children's church and Vacation Bible School. My mom recently told me that as a young girl I declared blue to be my favorite color because the sky is blue and God lives in the sky. I don't remember that. In fact, I don't remember thinking much about God at all.
I do remember one time staying with my grandma and she told me God was everywhere. I remember some church people painting my face at a festival and asking me about Jesus. I remember thinking in middle school that it seemed kind of far-fetched that a God existed and created everything. Then...nothing...for a while. I do distinctly remember praying in my bed at night during high school...who knows what I was praying about...I really didn't know God then.
It was around that same time I had my first serious boyfriend---serious as in you spend every waking moment talking to, or about, that person. Serious as in you use the L-word and you think you'll marry this person. I think that relationship kind of was my god for a time. When I wasn't making grades my god. Or my performance on the softball field.
Interestingly enough, through that relationship is where I first met people my own age who talked about Jesus like He was a person you could know. And...they listened to...Christian music. Gasp. Real people do that??? I started going to some youth events with my boyfriend. But...I also started pursuing other less-than-holy activities, too. Everyone knows what makes you "cool" in high school. It's not straight A's, but I did my best to maintain straight A's for the adults in my life, and to pursue coolness through whatever means necessary with my friends. Needless to say, there's a lot I'm not proud of from grades 10-12. It wasn't working though...I didn't feel cool. I felt empty.
One night, I felt particularly empty, and I think I had an epiphany of sorts. It wasn't quite as dramatic as Paul on the Road to Damascus, but I did have this realization that the things I was pursuing were not working, and I was tired. I can't remember the exact timing, but I don't think it was more than a couple Sunday's later that I was in church on a Sunday morning, listening to a sermon on choosing whether you wanted to be hot or cold---follow Jesus or not. There's no in-between. I knew that in the past weeks, I'd felt a pull on my heart to respond to God, and I'd resisted. That day I didn't have anymore resistance in me. I gave my life to Jesus. I wanted His forgiveness, and He gave it freely. I wanted a new life, and He breathed it into me. I wanted freedom and peace, and I got up from the altar so light and free. I also got up knowing everything was going to change.
Some things changed immediately. Some desires for sin were gone, just like that. Other things changed...are changing...gradually. There has often been a fight to believe truth over a long period of time before a stronghold gets crushed. And, everyday, there are new battles. The more you know Jesus, the more you realize you aren't like Him, and the more you want to be like Him, so there's always more you're asking Him for, and hoping to see become reality. But, here is a trustworthy saying: "It is the LORD who goes before you; He will be with you. Do not fear or be dismayed." (Deuteronomy 31:8).
And, that, my friends, is a glimpse into Cristina's story...so far...
