I hate going to the dentist. (Nothing personal, dentist people)

The last time I went to the dentist, they told me I had a hole in my tooth. How does that even happen? Actually, I wasn't that surprised because I feel like I spent half of my childhood getting filings at the dentist. I think because of that, I have a lot of anxiety when I go now, thinking they'll find something else wrong. Even the smell of latex makes my stomach start hurting cause it reminds me of those gloved hands drilling away in my too-small mouth.

So, after a few months of putting off this filing, I finally scheduled the appointment... Well, actually I had Casey call and schedule it for me... Told you I had some anxiety. 

When it finally came time to go, I was sick and couldn't breathe already, so I knew piling anxiety-laden activity onto my already fragile state wouldn't work, so I had to call and reschedule until yesterday. I was really proud of myself for calling on my own that time. #grownuplife

All day long I was dreading the appointment and told everyone I saw about it. Mark reminded me what C.S. Lewis said in "Mere Christianity":

    "When I was a child I often had toothache, and I knew that if I went to my mother she would give me something which would deaden the pain for that night and let me get to sleep. But I did not go to my mother—at least, not till the pain became very bad. And the reason I did not go was this. I did not doubt she would give me the aspirin; but I knew she would also do something else. I knew she would take me to the dentist next morning. I could not get what I wanted out of her without getting something more, which I did not want. I wanted immediate relief from pain: but I could not get it without having my teeth set permanently right. And I knew those dentists: I knew they started fiddling about with all sorts of other teeth which had not yet begun to ache. They would not let sleeping dogs lie, if you gave them an inch they took an ell.  
    Now, if I may put it that way, Our Lord is like the dentists. If you give Him an inch, He will take an ell. Dozens of people go to Him to be cured of some one particular sin which they are ashamed of (like masturbation or physical cowardice) or which is obviously spoiling daily life (like bad temper or drunkenness). Well, He will cure it all right: but He will not stop there. That may be all you asked; but if once you call Him in, He will give you the full treatment.  
    That is why He warned people to ‘count the cost’ before becoming Christians. ‘Make no mistake,’ He says, ‘if you let me, I will make you perfect. The moment you put yourself in My hands, that is what you are in for. Nothing less, or other, than that. You have free will, and if you choose, you can push Me away. But if you do not push Me away, understand that I am going to see this job through. Whatever suffering it may cost you in your earthly life, whatever inconceivable purification it may cost you after death, whatever it costs Me, I will never rest, nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect— until my Father can say without reservation that He is well pleased with you, as He said He was well pleased with me. This I can do and will do. But I will not do anything less.’"

Comforting, Mark, thanks...

And, what do you know, when I got there yesterday, they went ahead and did my six month cleaning and checked out all my other teeth. "No!!" I thought. "I only scheduled the one filling!" But they weren't satisfied with that. In fact, while working on my one filling, they had to adjust an old one beside it that needed some attention with all the chaos going on next door. But, ya know, they fixed my teeth. Cause it's their job. And it hurt. It was uncomfortable. It was messy. But, it was worth it. And my heart is no less worth it. And God won't stop short of perfection, so that his righteousness and his power might be put on display. And that's good. For all of us. So I can submit with hope and joy, because "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." 1 Timothy 1:15