I don't understand

Yesterday we had a 60th birthday party for Dad. Mom and I got together to plan, and decided I would rent the picnic shelter uptown where our whole family could gather for lasagna and cake and birthday fun. When I went to bed the night before, the wind was howling. When I woke up, it still was. When we got to park, the wind was even stronger, tearing through the picnic shelter like we were a little sailboat in the middle of an ocean storm.

I had been praying all week for good weather. I had been praying that morning. I had been praying while I duct taped 'Happy 60th birthday' signs to posts, that the wind would stop howling. "God, you calmed storms. You can just tell the wind to stop." And it seemed like the wind would howl louder, and nearly rip my sign out of my hands. After several failed attempts to duct table cloths to picnic tables, with party supplies flying everywhere, we gave it up and headed back to our apartment where we all huddled into our living room to regroup. I was unhappy, to say the least. I wanted to cry from frustration, and yell in anger. "God, I don't understand what you're doing."

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This morning we got up way too early for a sunrise service with our church family (good thing I like them, or I'd still be mad I got up so early, to cook no less). Post-service, we went inside to eat breakfast. Kelly was holding little Miss Hayden, but put her down with Brett while she went to refill Hay's milk bottle. Hayden got the pouty face and went to crying. I listened to her dad tell her, "It's ok. She'll be back. She's going to get you some milk. She's taking care of you. That's what Mommy always does - she takes care of you."

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A few minutes ago, at "second breakfast", if you will, Casey read us a short story from a little book we like called Not By Sight. It was a reflection on the time when Lazarus died and Jesus waited four days to come see about him and his sisters, Mary and Martha. It was written from Martha's perspective. She wonders why Jesus didn't come at first, and what he will do when he does come. She's confused, sad --- hurt, even --- that he didn't come and save Lazarus at the beginning. But the verse that opens this story (in John chapter 11) tells us that Jesus delayed precisely because he loved Lazarus, Martha, and Mary. Of course, we know, Jesus did raise Lazarus from the dead that fourth day, and when He did, He brought much glory to God and brought many people to Himself, because of this miracle.

Martha and Mary asked Jesus to come. They had asked God to heal their brother Lazarus. And God delayed. And, at first, to some, it looked like God didn't care. But God knew what He was doing. Jesus delayed so that God would receive the glory and the Martha and Mary would receive much joy.

Yesterday, while I was muttering, Casey reminded me that 2,000 years ago, when Jesus was dying on the cross, it looked, to some, like God was out of control, but we know He had never been in more control.

So, can I trust Him with my "ruined" party plans? Yeah, I think I can. Because He's the God who turns an instrument of death into an instrument of salvation. He's the one who turns death into new life. He is the God of the Resurrection. He is the Resurrection and the Life. And He's just like Hayden's momma - He is always taking care of his kids, in the very best way. Even when we don't understand.