Top 13 of My 2013 27th Birthday

1. Casey gave me a present first thing in the morning! Smart boy. Unfortunately for him, I'm not always the kindest person in the morning, and instead of saying, "Thank you, I love scarves!", I said, "Oh, it's not the right color." What a jerk. Then I felt terrible about it all day. He tries so hard (and succeeds!) at buying me sweet and thoughtful gifts - one, because he's awesome, and two, because he knows I love giving and getting gifts, and I think he may feel a teensy bit of pressure to get me just the right thing. By the end of the day, I realized that the color he got me would actually look better on me than the other color I wanted, and this was confirmed when I wore it the next day and everyone told me it went perfect with my skin tone. I think there's a lesson in here somewhere about being grateful for what you're given, even if you don't understand it at first? Thankful for Casey's thoughtfulness, and his patience with my lack of gratefulness. This is God living in Him!

2. Casey bought me breakfast first thing in the morning, even though he had the day off of work and didn't have to get up that early. And, he consented to my strange requests. And went two different places to fulfill the requests. Pecan twist and Bo-rounds from Bojangle's (duh), and a banana from the convenience store (to make me feel like I was eating "healthy").

3. While I would have been EC-STAT-IC to have 2 feet of snow on my birthday, the next best thing is 70 and sunny in January, and that's what I got. I wore short sleeves! I actually went to Walmart and saw their fur-lined coats and thought, "Wow, it's a little late in the year to have those out, isn't it? ...OH yeah, it's still winter!"

4. I got several cards in the mail, or in hand, from friends and family. In fact, they are sitting on top the DVD player right now and I am happily glancing up at them. I am TOTALLY a sentimental hoarder. Look for me in 20 years on Hoarders 2033. Wait, actually, be a friend, and come intervene before it gets there! With sentimental me and sentimental Casey combined, we could be buried within a couple years. It's sad, but true. I digress...so, my favorite card (if I can pick...I loved them all people---thanks especially to my friend Jessie in A-ville! what a sweet treat in the mail!) was from my Grandma W. She signed her card this way: "Love you Bunches! Grandma W....P.S. Hope you have a Happy Birthday! Mine & GrandPA's Anniversary is the day after your birthday - What a wonderful gift you have been." You may commence balling now.

5. Perhaps it is a little too revealing to have so much of this be about food, but nonetheless, here we go. My boss/co-worker/co-laborer in the Gospel/sister in Christ bought me lunch from wherever I wanted! La Cocina was my choice. I heart rice and beans. That is all. (funny side note: if you search for La Cocina in google images, you will actually just find a lot of pictures of kitchens)

6. So, I think I'm a little bit of an anomaly. I am both shy, and, hate to be alone. So, when I get home from work in the afternoons, I am good for about ten minutes, and then I just count down the minutes til Casey gets home from work. But! Tuesday Casey had the day off, so I walked in the house and there he was! Happy birthday to me!

7. This one will be a little bit of a throwback, but we got to visit Moms & Pops the weekend before the weekend before my birthday. I didn't stutter. Twas great fun. We watched bball (Butler v. Gonzaga - arguably the best game of the season to date), ate delicioso food by Mama W., ate birthday cake, and I got a slew of snow-themed gifts (snowflake cookie cutter, snow candy decorations on my cake, snowflake-adorned ramekins). To top it off, my sister and her bf came to visit from the land of Snow-town, NC! Love you sis! And, yes, we did talk about the boy before and after you were there. I believe he is generally approved of to date. Oh the joys of family :)

8. This one was also a few days pre-birthday, but worth mentioning. State beat UNC. Or, in everyone-else-who's-talked-about-the-game-afterwards words, we "dominated." Okay, so stop your gloating, Tar holes. And thanks to my in-laws for letting us watch the game at their house! Casey and his mom are UNC-ers. His dad is a Duke fan, but I think I might have had him cheering with me that night. He did buy me a sweet State watch that you can clip onto your keys as an early bday gift. Let's go pack!

9. Back to the food -- Casey took me to my "old stompin grounds", if you will. We headed to the PW for some "Asian" food. It was DE-licious. I got a discount. And the last chocolate chip cookie they had. And saw a few old friends. And, best part, got to help a 2nd-day-on-the-job-er figure out which dish she was giving us. She thanked me profusely and I was like "No! You got it! The peanuts mean it's Kung Pao." Oh, the old days.

10. Related to #9 is one of the best parts of the day - I got to enjoy my meal in the company of Melissa, Leah, Todd, and Silas!!! I love you friends! What a treat to see you, on my real birthday and everything!

11. Casey & I were gonna watch a movie when we got home around 9. We sat down, watched about ten minutes of a a UNC bball game, and decided to go to bed instead. We are old. I love you C!

12. My number 12 great thing about my birthday was the 12 packs of spearmint chapstick that Casey bought me! It was the last gift he let me open, because he knew I would like it the most. I like it because I'm addicted to chapstick, and spearmint is my favorite flavor, and they don't sell it at Walmart here anymore, and because he bought me like a year's supply of it. But the best part of the gift is that he totally gets me. Only he knows (well, and now, all of you) exactly what flavor of chapstick I use, and how I am always complaining about it not being stocked at Walmart, and how many times a day I put it on, and how I threaten to cut him when he tries to steal it from me, and how I freak out "just a little" when I can't find it, and how delighted I would be to receive a box full of it for my birthday.

13. I was quite reflective on my 27th birthday morning. I was thinking about Roe v. Wade. I was thinking how I was born 13 years and 1 week to the date of the decision that has allowed at least 55 million legal abortions since 1973. I was thinking how I could have been one of those 55 million. If my parents had led just a little bit different of a life, had a few different friends, hadn't feared the Lord, hadn't been raised to cherish life - I could Not be here. By the grace of God, I am here. He has given me life. Wow. Thanks to God! Thanks Mom & Dad, for choosing to give me life.

My Conspiracy Theory

con·spir·a·cy

(from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/conspiracy)

[kuh n-spir-uh-see] Show IPA

noun, plural con·spir·a·cies.

1. the act of conspiring.

2. an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot.

3. a combination of persons for a secret, unlawful, or evil purpose: He joined the conspiracy to overthrow the government.

4. Law. an agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other wrongful act.

5. any concurrence in action; combination in bringing about a given result.

Last night Casey told me he'd heard about another shooting at a school. The person who'd first told him the news had suggested that maybe all of the recent shootings are part of a government conspiracy to limit the American people's access to guns. You know what? It could be. I really don't know. I'm not gonna even try to figure that one out. My guess is, it's probably not a government conspiracy. But, is it a conspiracy on someone's part? Absolutely. 

Look at that definition of conspiracy, particularly #2 and #3: "2. an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot. 3. a combination of persons for a secret, unlawful, or evil purpose." 

Sounds eerily similar to some words in Ephesians 6:11-13 "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." 

Do I believe there is a conspiracy afoot? Yes, I do. I believe "the devil and his angels" (Matthew 25:41) have been, are, and will be til the end, conspiring against God, and against those who God has created. Jesus said satan was the father of lies (John 8:44), a murderer from the beginning (John 8:44), coming only to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). 

Is there any good news in this?? YES! Although satan has been a murderer from the beginning, God has been a redeemer from the beginning. All the way back in Genesis 3, when sin first entered the world, as humans chose to listen to that conspirator instead of our good and loving and beautiful Creator, God has chosen, in his great mercy and compassion, to save us. 

Although this earth, and our bodies, were put under a curse when we chose sin in the garden, even then, God told of the way He would bring us out of this mess. He would send a seed, through the woman - One whose heel satan would bruise. But this One, though bruised, would Crush satan's head. 

See the fulfillment of this promise in Colossians 2:13-15 "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the written code, with is regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away; nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross (or, "triumphing over them in Him")."

So, all this ugliness - these school shootings; these daily assaults and murders; all of this strife - is this all part of a conspiracy? Yes! And is there any hope for us? Yes! "The LORD is a warrior; YAHWEH is His Name (Exodus 15:3)." Just as Joseph told the brothers who'd once tried to kill him, so now we can say, through Jesus our Messiah, to those enemies of ours, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." 

Let's leave with one last encouragement from 1 John, for those who are in Christ: "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world (4:4)...for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God (5:4-5)."

I Want to Be Ready

I have this recurring nightmare. In the nightmare, I am getting married - only, everything is going wrong. For some reason, no one is ready for the wedding. The flowers aren't ready. The dress doesn't fit. The guests don't know when to come. Everything is being thrown together at the last minute. Everything is halfway done. Nothing is quite right. We finally get to the church, late, of course. I get hastily dressed into the ugly wedding dress that doesn't fit. I don't have any bridesmaids to help me. When I finally walk down the aisle, it's the wrong guy. I feel very anxious about marrying him. I want someone to come and rescue me from this huge mistake I'm about to make, but no one comes.

This dream made more sense to me before I actually got married, to the right guy, with the beautiful dress, the gorgeous flowers, the sweet friends around me, the guests filling the pews, the vow between me, Casey, and God to do this thing for life. So, when I kept having the dream, even after July 24th, 2010, it really perplexed me. And made Casey laugh. I mean, how silly is it to be anxious about something that's:already happened! If I'm gonna be anxious, it should probably be about something that hasn't yet happened, right?

So, last night with our church family, we looked at a parable that Jesus told in Matthew 25:1-13

"At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. the wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. the bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep. 

At midnight the cry rang out: 'Here's the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!'

Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. the foolish ones said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.'

'No,' they replied, 'there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.'

But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. 

Later the others also came. 'Sir! Sir!' they said. 'Open the door for us!'

But he replied, 'I tell you the truth, I dont' know you.'

Therefore, keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour."

As we read this, my recurring nightmare came to mind. And I wondered if maybe I've had this dream over and over just for sake of illustrating this parable. Just so I would know the anxiety, the dread, the utter helplessness felt for those who are not ready for the Bridegroom's coming. Lord, I want to be ready! I want to be watchful. I want to be longing for my Bridegroom's return, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He. Is. Coming.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going...I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:1-4, 6)

I was buying a couple last-minute Christmas gifts at Wal-mart, pretty excited that I'd just found a short line, and then annoyed that it was still taking a long time for the one person in front of me to check out . I looked up at the tv in the nail salon and saw the red "breaking news" graphic. I read the information on the screen - "27 dead at elementary school in CT," and I thought, "Oh, this must be an old story they're talking about." But then I couldn't recall any shootings having been in Connecticut, and I realized that this was live. Real. Happening right now. "No! No...no." Waves of sickness and grief flooded over me. "Why? Freaking why? Why is this happening..again??? How are these parents gonna cope? Why all these children? Jesus!"

The person in front of me left, and the cashier asked "How are you?" and I didn't know what to say. I wanted to connect with someone, talk about how horrible this was. And then the lady behind me started putting her stuff on the conveyor belt. The nerve. And not just putting it up there, but bumping into me while she did it. And then...oh...then, she rolled her cart into me. Dilemma. I'm both sickened by this one man's sin, and fuming at this woman behind me for...what? For daring to enter my personal space? Rushing me?  Now, I was feeling sickened by my own sin. Well, that's not pretty...stuff that down, smile at the cashier as you thank her for your receipt, and walk to your car.

My sister texted me, "just heard about ct :(" as I was walking out, tears welling up in my eyes thinking about those kids, and those parents. With the text, the dam broke. The Salvation Army bell-ringer told me to have a merry Christmas and I couldn't even get a response out. Turned on the radio to listen to the details...if I keep listening to the details being repeated, maybe it will make sense. Tears streaming. The traffic coming into the parking lot was heavy and I'd parked right there at the entrance. There's  a stop sign for incoming traffic that no one ever regards, including me. But I'm in my car yelling at them "There's  a stop sign!!" Just as I yelled, a guy let me pull out in front of him. Conviction...again, here I am, angered by this shooter's horrendous sin, and in that same instant, guilty myself.

We are not good. We aren't. If we're honest, we'll all admit that. Just look at the first line of the story on CNN:

"In one of the deadliest school shootings in U.S. history, a gunman opened fire Friday in a Connecticut elementary school, killing nearly 30 people -- most of them children, a law enforcement official receiving information from the scene told CNN (emphasis mine)."

This has happened over and over and over and over and over. This is just "one of the deadliest." Things are not getting better. We are not getting better!


"The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.'
They are corrupt, their deeds are vile;
there is no one who does good.
the LORD looks down from heaven on the sons of men
to see if there are any who understand,
any who seek God.
All have turned aside,
they have together become corrupt;
there is no one who does good, not even one.
Will evildoers never learn -
those who devour my people as men eat bread
and who do not call on the LORD?
There they are, overwhelmed with dread,
for God is present in the company of the righteous.
You evildoers frustrate the plans of the poor,
but the LORD is their refuge.
Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!
When the LORD restores the fortunes of his people,
let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad!"

Just when you think you aren't that bad, your own heart reminds that you are guilty, just like everyone else. We need a Savior! I need a Savior! "Oh that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!" And, thank God! Thank God it has! "...and you are to give Him the Name Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins (Matthew 1:21)." Only trust Him. "There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit (Romans 8:1-2)."