i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) - a happy birthday tribute to Dannilee

Hey Sis. You know, today is a special day in the world for those of us blessed to know you. It's birthday #26 for you. 26 years of us being different because we've known you.

I love that these are the first pictures I found of you. Your expressions are classic Danielle. #1: "Okay, I'll try to smile, but take the picture fast." #2: "Why are you still trying to take the picture?" #3: "Seriously, why?" Or, at least that's what I imagine you thinking. Truthfully, while we are alike in many of our quirks, in some ways you are a mystery to me.

I've always been a little envious of your boldness to say what you are thinking; to take the proverbial road less traveled. You aren't afraid to try something different (blue hair in high school? a nose ring? college 3 hours away? living on your own? considering moving to Seattle?), and I honestly admire that. Not to mention how crazy talented you are.

I remember you drawing Mickey Mouse over and over. I knew that I liked to doodle, but I realized even then that you were in a league beyond me. You have an eye for beautiful things and you capture them in your paintings and drawings. I love to see your creativity come to life, even in the way you organize your apartment (even in your OCD tendencies---"must stack papers on table just so..."). Some of my most prized possessions are the paintings you've done for me. I feel I have a little piece of you hanging on my wall. And that's another thing---I love the way you give your love to people.

You seem to love many people that some would say aren't very loveable. That's a beautiful thing. To see past someone's flaws and love them inspite of themselves. I know you've done that with me. There are many things, as your sister, I would go back in time and do differently. Alas, I can't. But you love me still. Thank you for that. You're a feisty little lady --- don't even try to say you aren't, but sometimes I am overcome to see your compassion pour over onto someone in need. Like how Mom told me that you held her hand that morning she was in pain after knee surgery and she couldn't take medicine yet. You just sat there and held her hand while it hurt, and it made me cry happy tears to think of you.

You are a beautiful woman. Beautiful. I love you so. Here's to many more years of getting to know you.

"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear..."

from [i carry your heart with me (i carry it in] by E.E. Cummings

"Do I Have To Go To Church To Be A Christian?"

image from www.paultripp.com

No, you don't have to go to church to become a Christian. We know that becoming a Christian---an adopted son or daughter of God---is a the free gift of God (Romans 6:23); totally by grace, not by works. This is great news, since every "good deed" we try to do is only filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) before Holy God! So, maybe we are focusing on the wrong thing. Instead of debating whether or not you can be a Christian without being part of a local body, let's just consider it this way: "If you are a follower of Jesus, why would you NOT want to be with the people of God?" Or, we can look at the flip side of that question, "Why would you WANT to be with the people of God?"

Historically, I have always thought this was a pretty straightforward issue. Hebrews 10:24-25 makes it pretty clear to me that we are not to "give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing". Bam! Enough said for me. Strangely enough, though, I've run into quite a few people who I believe love God, and they have even read the Bible, but they feel that this issue is not that important to them personally. Well, this morning I believe God is shedding new light on the matter for me, and I thought I'd share it with you.

You might be familiar with chapter 2 of James, where the half-brother of Jesus and early leader of the church reminds Christians that we can't simply hear the Word and think that makes us okay, but we must do the Word, or else our faith is in vain. In other words, if your life is not transformed by the Word you hear, then your faith is not working (pun intended?). I listened to a sermon on this portion of Scripture yesterday and the teacher fleshed it out, saying if we study alone, we will most likely do one of two things: 1. we will think that just because we studied something, we are now transformed and applying it to our lives, or 2. we will forget what we've studied and it will bear no fruit in our lives. This teaching collided with my morning reading of Mark 2:1-5 today.

In Mark 2:1-5, Jesus is teaching in this super-crowded room. A paralytic man wants to get to Jesus to be healed, but there's no way in the room, so his friends go up on the roof, dig a hole in the clay, and lower the man through to reach Jesus. Pretty awesome. We're going to be looking at this story in our Campus Life Middle School small groups Tuesday, and discussing how we need help from people.I was thinking of an example I could give in my own life of this truth, and I started thinking "Well, I needed people to teach me how to grow in my relationship with Jesus when I first started following Him." Then I realized, I actually still need this. I need people to help me figure out how to walk with God through this season of life, too. I was trying to think of conversations I'd had about that, and instead, I could only think of a lot of books I've read about following Jesus.

Books are awesome. I love books. Come to my house and see them all if you doubt me. And reading a book is like having a conversation with the author, but the problem is, there's no give-and-take. I hear what they say, but they can't hear my questions or my thoughts on the subject. They can't tell if I misunderstood something, so they can't clarify when I wander down a crazy trail of thought. So, I realized I need to apply the sermon from yesterday to this.

I should read books. But I shouldn't stop there, because if I do, I'm liable to 1. think just because I know what to do, I'm doing it, or 2. forget everything I read and be no better off than I was prior to reading. So, I should read books, and watch sermons online, and listen to sermons in the car, and then I should share with my church family (my husband, our Life Together Group, a sister on a Sunday night, a friend at YFC, etc.) what I am learning so that iron can sharpen iron, mistaken ideas can be challenged, life application can be considered, and accountability can take place. The author of the book and the teacher of the sermon don't know me! They are faithful to sow the Word, but the people who see me week in and week out---they are the ones who are gonna help me walk out the Word. They are the ones who know my struggles and strengths. They are the ones who see where I need to apply truth, and can call me out when I'm not doing that! I need the church. And so do you.

So, no, we don't have to go to church to be a Christian, but we aren't gonna be a very fruitful Christian without the church. I don't know about you, but I desperately want to bear some fruit for Jesus!

Mice & Stoves & Hearts

The Stove

A few weeks ago our friend was over and I heard this rustling sound coming from the kitchen. I thought maybe something just shifted and I ignored it. A few minutes later I heard the sound again...hoping it was only my imagination, I once again ignored it. The third time, there was no denying it. A creature was in our midst. The three of us all walked slowly and softly into the kitchen, where we could hear something stirring---possibly in the stove. Ugh. As any normal person would do, I ran up to the stove screaming, hoping to give the small mammal a heart attack and thus not have to go buy traps. It didn't work. We could not find the little guy then and didn't see any signs of him for the next week or so. It had been super cold and then warmed a little, so we thought maybe he'd gone back outside.

Unfortunately, a few days later, we noticed...um...evidence that Mickey was indeed still visiting. And then one morning while Casey was in the downstairs bathroom, he saw Mickey run under the door and then up into a crack under the sink cabinet. Talk about heart attacks!!! We bought some traps and the rest is history. Mickey won't be visiting anymore.

So...I thought I'd cleaned up pretty much every area Mickey had visited while staying with us, but then I went to put away a couple cookie sheets in the drawer under the stove, and I thought I saw some...evidence...again, and decided to thoroughly clean the drawer. While I had the drawer pulled out to clean it, I noticed that I could see under the stove. The little bit I could see looked about like how you would imagine the underneath of a stove looks...disgusting. So I thought maybe I should pull the drawer all the way out. I did.

3 hours later I woke up on the floor after having fainted at the sight and smell. Okay, maybe not quite. But I seriously did want to throw up. If you've never cleaned underneath a stove that approximately 5 million people have used before you, I don't even know if I can recommend you do it! It's that disgusting. Amongst whatever death was under there, I also found 5 bottle caps, a pear magnet, a fork, and a Bojangle's name tag. Score. At least we know one good person lived here before us. The urge to just put the drawer back and pretend like I didn't know what was under there was strong. I DID NOT want to touch anything down there. But I also knew I wouldn't be able to un-know what was lurking right underneath my nose that whole time. I had a new understanding of the phrase "Ignorance is bliss." But I was no longer ignorant.

So I pulled out my gloves. I got my Lysol wipes. And spray. And I went to work. It was hard. That stuff was caked on for who knows how many years. Pretty sure I'm the first person to venture down into that mess. While I was down there, it just hit me in the face. God was giving me a life illustration.

All week long, I had been feeling like God just kept revealing more of my sin to me. I was not enjoying it. The more layers were peeled back, the worse things seemed. I kept having to resist the urge to just run away. But where could I run to? I realized, while I was down there in that mess, that God has known my mess all along, just like He's known the mess under my stove. Because He is a loving and wise Father, He knows just when to let me know that He knows. He understands that if I could see all the messes in my life at one time, I would just quit. He also knows that once I see the mess, I can't just ignore it anymore. And...He has not left me alone to clean the mess up myself. He reveals it to me so that I will know He is the One who will make me whole again. "Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Christ Jesus our Lord!" Even though I would rather not have had a disgusting mess to clean up, I was so thankful for such a timely and gracious illustration from my Dad.

My Testimony (hint: read Ephesians 2)

I once was dead. I was doomed forever because of my many sins. I was full of sin. All I did was follow my evil passions and desires---I followed satan. I couldn't obey God, even if I'd wanted to, but I didn't want to. In a sick way, I was like a daughter to satan. I had hostility between me and God, and between His people. I was a stranger, an alien, an outsider. I was under God's anger, just like everyone else who is full of sin and only obeys their corrupt desires. I was unaware of God's promises to His people. I was without God. I was without hope.

bibledude.net/one-in-christ/

But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved me so very much, that even while I was dead because of my sins, He gave me life when He raised Christ from the dead...For He raised me from the dead along with Christ!

Now, I am alive with Christ. I am known. And loved! I am included. I am a daughter of God. I'm a citizen with God's holy people, a member of God's family, a part of God's house, a portion of God's masterpiece. I am in Christ, and Christ is in me. I am indwelled by the Holy Spirit. I belong to Jesus! I am near to God---seated with Christ, in fact. I am new, saved, able and willing to obey God. I have been shown special favor by God, and so, I am an example of the incredible wealth of God's favor and kindness. Now, I know God's promises to His people, and I believe Him. I have God, and I have hope.