Let's try to get to the Heart of the matter

I read the biography of William Wilberforce today and realized something troubling about my soul:  I have not been experiencing joy in the Spirit lately.  To those religious/depressed or simply unaware, this is a command that God takes very seriously in Scripture:  "Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!"  I deducted that my lack of joy has stemmed from two problems:  ONE, I have not been serious about fellowshipping with the God from whom all blessings flow, and TWO, when I have been encouraged by a word from the Most High, I have not allowed that blessing to overflow from me and bless another.  In other words, I've been very self-absorbed and wanting to hoard up all "my" treasures for myself.

How does Wilberforce relate?  If you know nothing of Wilberforce, know that he battled for 46 years to finally outlaw the African slave trade in Britain in 1833, and know that his passion & perseverance was fueled by enduring joy in contemplation of Christ becoming his holiness for him on the cross.  Such contemplation gave Wilberforce "new affections" to go and do as Christ had done for him, to serve the least of these and speak for those who had no voice.

Know as well that Wilberforce lived a life worthy of the box office & biography, and know of me that my biography transferred to the Big Screen would leave you demanding your money back.  Wilberforce lived a life FULL of "memorable scenes" which I, currently, am not.  Contemplation of this latter fact led me briefly to despair, and then to the Author of this legend's joy and passion:  His name is JESUS.

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Sitting in my truck over lunch crying out to Jesus for joy & an understanding of my purpose, I looked up mid-sentence from my journaling to notice some yards away a man I'd soon come to know as Frank, the homeless man clutching the cardboard sign.

I'd seen Frank before while eating lunch in the shaded parking lot, and offered him the extra double cheeseburger I would soon replace with a Spicy Chicken.  I didn't know Frank's story, Frank's name, or what Frank might do with the cash I thought of handing him.  But Frank at least is human, and Frank would need to eat sometime, and so I gave Frank a hot burger.  Today when I saw Frank, I was faced with two choices:  either continue asking God to bring some excitement in my life, or realize that He'd already given me the choice to create it myself.  And so, as oddly as you can imagine, I walked 40 yards past hurried drivers in a shirt & tie to introduce myself to Frank, a homeless beggar.

With 20 minutes left of lunch, I invited Frank to sit down with me at Burger King.  It was a great idea to my liking, but Frank refused, and continued clutching his sign.  So, we'll talk here, I thought.  Frank was shy, telling me little of his life (he had no family, had lost work as a carpenter 2 months ago), for Frank may never have had someone so odd as me actually want to get to know him before.  Unsure of what to do next, I started to walk away, and then stopped to ask Frank what I could pray for him.  "Oh I pray and talk to God, and Jesus or whatever," he responded.  With reciprocal awkwardness I put my hand on his shoulder, then talked to Jesus as Frank glanced back at the awkward guy in a suit, and back at the passing cars--then at awkward guy in a suit, and back at the cars.  Still clutching his sign.

Praying, I remembered James:  "If a brother or sister is without clothes & lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well,' but you don't give them what the body needs, what good is it!?  In the same way faith, if it doesn't have works, is dead by itself!"  I left Frank but returned with a Kroger gift card, wrapping it with scrap paper & the words of Jesus:  This is My command:  love one another as i have loved you.  No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.

Whether or not Frank will discover that his grocery card can also be used to purchase cigarettes & alcohol, I'll never know.  Whether or not I'll see him again, I also don't know.  But one thing I am learning is this:  the only life worth living is the one lived in obedience to the Spirit, the one who desires my joy and the use of my legs.  Drawing close to Jesus and being used of him to love others is exciting.