Thursday, January 19, 2017

On Infertility

The other night I watched this video about infertility in the church. Dr. Best describes what infertility is, what couples struggling with infertility should do, and what the church should do to care for those couples. It's a 15 minutes worth spending!

What drew me to the video is our own struggle through several years of longing for children but waiting for the Lord to answer that prayer. I hesitate to even call it "infertility", though by medical definition (more than one year of trying but unsuccessfully conceiving) it was, because I know so many people have struggled longer, tried more avenues, or even found out that they could never become pregnant. Nevertheless, the struggle was real. Enough that even now that word is a painful one. So I watched the video to see what she would say to the me of a year ago. And, to see what I should say to my friends and my future friends who will struggle with this, too.

What most struck me was her reminder that children are a BLESSING from the Lord. They are a GIFT. Now, I already believed that. I look at Gracie, and even in her name, I'm reminded that she is a GIFT. But, Dr. Best followed that logic out---if children are a gift, then it means they are not, as we often presume, deserved. Even though our culture, and even our churches, well-meaning as they may be, talk about children as if they just fall into the laps (or wombs?) of couples who just decide they're ready, it's just not the case.

The Lord opens and closes the womb. He gives gifts. Really good ones. But since He's the gift-giver, He also gets to be the one who decides WHEN and TO WHOM those gifts are given. Throughout our time of unfulfilled longing for children, what we came back to time and time again was this promise: "No good thing does He withhold from the righteous." What a painful, but sweet lesson to learn. So, now, as we care for our gift, our Gracie (grace=gift), we still cling to that promise. Because there will be a million more instances of having to trust in God's heart of love for us, and His desire to bless us, and His perfect timing, even when it looks to us like the answer comes too slow. Lord, help me. Even as I type, I feel the anxiety of "what could be". Trust Him. Trust Him. Trust Him. Soul, believe this. He IS good.

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