Some ramblings on life as I know it in December 2010

This is a peppermint mocha from Chicago Coffee, a place I once frequented, but now remember only once in a while, when I'm being nostalgic and looking through old pictures, or when I eat a cinnamon roll (they had delicious ones), or an iced brownie (um, espresso brownie? Yes, please.) I guess I'm being nostalgic today...looking through pictures from the last couple of years, wondering at all the places I've been in that short amount of time. I've traveled to four different countries, and called three (four, if you count moving from Brier Creek to my current home a different city...B.C. is almost Durham, right?) different cities home. I've gone through culture shock (upon arriving in Asia), been a "missionary", gone through reverse culture shock (upon returning to the US), been stuck in a dark place (Psalm 38), been brought out to the light (Psalm 30).

I got engaged

I got a job, got a roommate
got married
and, fast forward five months, here we are. Last night I thought "how in the world did I end up working at [my job]?" Sometimes I feel like I have no explanation for what things are now. When I'm meeting someone at church, and they ask me "Oh, are you in school?", or I see someone I knew in college and they ask "So what are you doing now?", I just laugh, because how am I gonna sum up the last couple years of my life in a couple sentences? I don't even know the summary, really. I know that all these things aren't for nothing---I know they're a part of a bigger story within The Big Story that God is writing---so I'm not without hope. But, sometimes, I am just lost as to where this thing is going. Or if I'm going the I right direction. Sometimes I wish I had a map. I suppose this is where faith begins...will I trust God? Will I believe His promise that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)? Will I be honest with Him in my frustration, and confusion, and disappointment even? All the while, trusting that no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless (Psalm 84:11)? And will I remember that though I mess up, if I confess my sin, He is faithful and just to forgive me my sin and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)? And will I, without doubt, believe what Jesus said---"Fear not little flock, it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom(Luke 12:32)."